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Episode 10 – Why Am I Jealous of My Friend’s Success?

Under the Bodhi Tree

Episode 10 - Why Am I Jealous of My Friend's Success?

How to tell if your friends are envious/jealous of your success and how "YOU" yourself can deal with your own envy/jealousy towards your friends' success.

Gratitude Sunday + Episode 10.

Episode 10 – Why Am I Jealous of My Friend’s Success?
Under the Bodhi Tree

 
 
00:00 / 15:40
 
1X
 

Podcast Transcript

Snippet (00:01):

I highly recommend that you don’t do this, is to suppress or to bottle up your feeling. That’s super ineffective. And later on, what it can do is increase the frequency and the intensity of that emotion, and it could explode later.

Intro Music (00:20):

(light music)

Tommy P. (00:37):

Good morning. Good afternoon. And good evening. Welcome to Under the Bodhi Tree with Tommy P. I hope you all are doing f#&king well today because it is gratitude Sunday. I’m just going to make a quick, uh, appreciation and thank you today. Cause I do have some content I want to talk about, and that is how and why am I jealous of my friends’ success and how the f#&k do I deal with that emotion? So, all right, this is completely spontaneous. I have no idea what I’m going to thank, but let’s go ahead and get started today. I’d like to thank my pack of Corona that I bought yesterday at the, um, at the beer store. I can’t believe the alcohol stores open, I guess it’s, uh, it’s um, a critical infrastructure in America. You need to have the, you need to have the alcoholic beverage stores open to deal with this.

Haha, Silly People (01:43):

Oh, did you guys know that when the Corona virus hit people just stopped buying Corona beers? Like a lot of people just stopped buying it. I thought it was so funny. I’m like, come on, people wake the f#&k up. Sometimes I feel people are just too darn gullible. All right. First thing I want to thank is again, my f#&king couch is not the comfiest in the world, but I like it a lot because, you know, you’re able to pull the seating underneath the sofa and make it into a bed and pull it away from the sofa so you can make it have more seats all around. So it’s very exciting. I can’t wait to get people to come over and play some board games, game nights and stuff like that. Not monopoly. That’s not real game. That’s, that’s a game that you would have people play…

Tommy P. Giving More Gratitude (02:39):

If you f#&king hate their guts, it’s the best way to break up relationships, (Tommy P laughs) monopoly. Yeah, no thanks. No, thanks to that. Next thing I want to be thankful for is my friends, my friends, I have great friends, um, holla at cha boy, uh, Faye, Phúc, and that’s one person that I’m grateful for. Also, Kevin, Kevin is pretty f#&king awesome. He’s the one that really jumped, started my inspiration and my kind of my motivation that I’ve lacked for a while. So I have great friends for sure. And of course, uh, my family as well. So we’ll leave it at that with the gratitude Sunday. I really want to get into the content. I’m also grateful that I have content to deliver to you guys, and I’m grateful to have listeners at all. And I really hope that I can make a positive impact in the world from just doing these, um, weekly, monthly podcasts when ever I have the chance to, or when I have the inspiration to do it.

Introduction (03:39):

Alright, so let’s go ahead and get started. So we all get that feeling. Our friend has achieved success in their f#!king life. They bring the great news to us and, uh, outwardly we’ll, we’ll be like, yeah man, congratulations. I’m really happy for you. You know, you’re very deserved of it. That’s what we say outwardly. But internally we’re like, f&!k that motherf&#ker. Right? And I know not everyone feels like this, but the majority of people do. That’s why it’s so freaking funny. So when you feel like that, you shouldn’t feel bad. So let’s go ahead and talk about ways you can tell that your friends are doing that to you. So I have three ways here on how to tell if your friends are envious of you and what can you do about it? So the number one thing in no particular order here is, uh, let’s start with number one.

Giving False Praise (04:34):

Number one is giving false praise. When you’re saying something great has happened to you and you announce it to your friends, they praise you in way where it does not feel genuine. Right? And it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like they’re celebrating your success. It’s just kinda like, uh, yeah, good for you. They, they give you these praise, but there’s no emotions behind it. And you can intuitively tell that, okay, this is something, this is something weird, right? They’re not genuine about it. So the best way to deal with the situation is just to try to find things about them, good things and give them sincere compliments. And especially when great things are coming the way, just give them genuine compliment. When you do that enough times, they’ll see that your the type of person that actually care for them, right? You see another person care for you. You want to care back to them. So that’s the best way to deal with it. So try that out and it will massively change how people treat you. Trust me.

Belittle Your Success (05:40):

So number two, they might try to belittle, your efforts and success. Oh, Hey guys, you know, i just got so & so, you know, so & so great things just happened to me. So and so, and they’re like, Oh yeah, whatever, man, that sh!t sucks. Or whatever. That’s a dumb achievement that was really easy to do or no, anyone can do that, right? They try to belittle your efforts and your success. So when that happens, don’t try to defend yourself. Don’t take their bait, don’t rise up or go down to their level, right. It’ll only make them feel right. So the best way to deal with this is just stay humble, but also firm at the same time, deliver it, the news.

Be Firm (06:27):

Be humble about it. If anyone says anything bad about it, just be firm. Don’t pay attention to them, just be firm and try not to brag. Right? When you brag, they’re only going to hate you even more and try to find other ways to sh!t on you. Okay? So knowing that, moving forward, just understand that you should not be celebrating or announcing any of your success around this person. Just don’t do it. Cause these types of people just will try to find ways to bring you down because they have a crab in a bucket mentality. And if you don’t know what that is, shame on you go Google that sh#t.

One Upping (07:07):

So number three, they try to one up on you. So when you celebrating your own success, these type of motherf#&kers might try to one up on you. They might try to mention their current achievements or boaster them to a point where it’s just sounds way too much. These are the kinds of motherf#$kers that announce their engagement during another person’s or couples’ wedding. So be wary of those motherf#@kers when they try to one up on you, just look at him real quick with a firm eye contact and just show them that you kind of understand the situation, just back the f*#k up. And then later on, if you want to confront this person and talk to them, one-on-one to tell them how you feel firmly, right? And from there, you can decide if this person is worth having around. If they keep doing that sh*t or you might have to dismiss them and just walk your f#$king way somewhere else. Dr. Wayne Dyer says something along the lines of, um, when you meet a person and their soul is not aligned with yours, just thank them for their time. Be grateful that they were in your life and f#&king walk your own way. Completely paraphrasing. He did not curse at all, but something to that effect.

Your Own Jealousy (08:25):

Alright. So the next thing we want to talk about is your own jealousy and how you can deal with it when your friends and announces their own success in life.

Acknowledge That Feeling (08:37):

So the very first step is just to acknowledge that you feel that a damn f#&king feeling. If you feel jealous, if you feel envious, stop everything and just acknowledge that f#&king feeling. Try not to label it, try not to focus on your thoughts, just focus on the feelings and just feel the feelings because what you don’t want to do. And it’s very ineffective that people do this. And I highly recommend that you don’t do this, is to suppress it or to bottle up your feeling. That’s super ineffective. And later on, when it can do is increase the frequency and the intensity of that emotion. And it could explode later. Okay? So don’t bottle it up. So the first step is to completely acknowledge that emotion without labeling it, without thinking about it, just feel it just f#&king feel it and just let it go.

Doesn’t Hurt You (09:39):

So number two, on how to deal with it is you got to remember, you have to remember that your friend’s success does not f#&king hurt you fools. Remember that we live in a world of complete abundance and there’s more than enough for everyone to go around. Even though in the modern world, it may seem competitive and everything seems cut throat. You should remember that your friend’s path in life is completely separate from yours. Completely f#&king separate. Everyone has their own road and path to walk in life. Okay? It does not f#&king affect you. There’s more enough of good things to go around. It doesn’t affect you.

Get to the Root (10:26):

The third way to deal with this is try to get to the root of why you’re feeling this emotion. You may wonder how do I stop feeling envious or jealous, but the very first thing you need to do, or maybe second thing after you feel the feeling is to figure out the source of this envy of this jealous emotion and if you’ve truly dug deep. There’s a 99% chance. I don’t even know why I’m throwing math at you. You know, when people throw f#&king quotes and what is it and percentages around. It’s all f#&king bullsh!t. But let’s say that anyways. Cause it sounds good. There’s a 99% chance that it has something to do with you, right? When you truly dug deep and dig deep, I don’t even know what correct grammatical way to say that is. But if you truly dig deep and there’s a 99% chance that it has nothing to do with the other person, but it has something to do with you. Maybe inside you feel inadequate, maybe because you’re not proactive in your life. Maybe because you know, good things has not come your way yet from you feel this from a place of insecurity. Okay.

Have Compassion (11:42):

All right. So the fourth and the last thing on how to deal with when you get jealous or envious of your friends is try to be compassionate. Try to be compassionate. I know it sounds weird, right? You’re feeling envious and you’re feeling jealous. How the f#&k can you feel compassion at the same time, but you always want to keep it in the back your mind that not everything you see on the surface is a direct reflection of what they experience because everyone has their own internal struggles. Everyone has their own path in life. Like I said earlier, that maybe, you might see that, okay, sure. They have their success. And they’re letting you know, some how some way social media or in real life. And you feel envious. You gotta remember that. Most of the time on social media, people will post things that are great. And a lot of times they exaggerate that, right? Not everything that you see on social media is true. Even if they celebrate in front of you in real person in real life, you know, they might be happy in that facet in their life, but who knows the multitude of other facets in their life, how that’s going, right? It might be complete sh!t, right? They might run into a lot of family problems. They might run into a lot of issues with their health. You don’t know any of that. Everyone has a different path in life. So when that feeling comes up, ya know, the envy and the jealousy, acknowledge it, sit with it. But also at the same time. Try to be compassionate and understand that everyone has their own path in life and you don’t see everyone’s struggle. You only see their book cover of their life. Right? And a lot of times, a lot of people want to show the world that, Hey, they’re doing great, but in actuality, that might not be it. So just feel sorry for those motherf#&kers (Tommy P laughs) or just, you know, feel compassionate and, um, understand that everyone really has their struggles.

Conclusion (13:55):

All right. Thank you everyone. For listening to my Gratitude Sunday podcast rolled into episode number 10. Oh sh!t. Episode number 10. Can’t believe that I’ve recorded ten of these already, and I’m very grateful to have the inspiration to do this. And also I’m grateful that people find value in what i have to say. So go ahead and check my website out. It’s my blog. It’s higherselfconcepts.com. That’s plural concepts with an s .com higherselfconcepts.com. And I have tons of cool content on there that allows you to think of things and see things in a different lens and perspective it’s very interesting. So check it out. Higherselfconcepts.com. I want to thank you everyone for listening to my podcast, I enjoy doing these and uh, I’ve been hearing great feedback and I hope I can do this a lot more often. All right. So if you enjoyed this content and definitely think about sharing it to your friends and family, uh, anyone that you think will get value out of it and go out there and get your COVID-19 face mask, keep yourself safe, social distancing practice. Until next time, peace the f#&k out.

Outro Music (15:19):

(light music)

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Tommy P.
Tommy P.

My very first thought when I became aware of my very own consciousness in this earthly world was... "whoa... why are we here? what's the meaning or purpose to life?" I was never able to shake these questions... So come join me on my podcast of rants on many different topics that will assist you in seeing things through a rose-colored lens and on living a life of well-being.

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